Resentment
by Ginn the Fire Demon
Summary: she was a disease, a sickly invasion of love and teasing promises and he hated her for . (For those of you who don't understand some of the references and/or outfits or actions read the manga also pardon the spelling errors I wrote this in a dream fueled one am bout and my computer can't open the document, I'll be better next time.)


She was poison, a virus that invaded every pore and curled around his insides until there was nothing left of him. Only a hollow husk of anxiety and nerves that would light up at the slightest prodding. He was a marionette whose strings were so tangled he might as well have been put down forever, even before they met. And yet, for some reason, she wouldn't. Couldn't. He was the one. The only one.

It only worked if it was him.

And he resented her for it.

He hated the way she had teased and touched him, pulling out every emotion and reaction he could produce with agonizing slowness, as if it was all a game. She would drain from him every feeling until he was empty and then, and only then, would she allow him some silver lining.

A kiss here, a whisper of admiration there.

It was pain and he hated her for it.

When he had first realized he loved her his initial reaction was to redirect the feeling, it could have been anyone. A classmate, a stranger, a girl you could find on the streets, it was only a coincidence it was Mamimi. The women who toyed with him as he was now played with, who had pulled and pushed for and from him, using guilt and seduction to lure him in.

But he was on high, and his confidence soared to the point where he thought he could make her his own.

But she refused, and he bit the brittle bullet.

Once more he was alone, and once more she slipped from the confines of the upper bunk and slithered into bed with him. It was an every night event, one that he relished and despised as she curled into his back, whispering sweet nothings and purrs as she cupped his cheek. The genuine words were what got to him, and it was that which reminded him that he was still only a child.

He loathed her for reminding him.

And then she was leaving, acting as if she had only visited for a casual hour. He reminded himself not to cry, that this was inevitable, that she would never stay for him. After all he wasn't special, wasn't powerful, wasn't mature.

He wasn't Atomsk.

And so she left, of course she left, there was nothing left to bind her to the backwater planet at the edge of the galaxy. He looked to her, the strange bunny suit clad girl who had stolen his first kiss, his first everything save his chastity, the girl who was claiming not to even be Haruko in the first place, but a twin of sorts. It was hard, acting tough, when the only women he was sure would excite him was leaving without any care in the world.

He tightened his grip on the Rickenbacker and said goodbye.

"You could come with me, ya know?" he knows, of course he knows, there's nothing on the Earth like her, he couldn't imagine one possible reason not to stay.

But he says no anyway, just to be safe.

"Yeah, save it for next time kid." she only calls him that when she's upset, when she wants to hurt him and she has. But he's hurt her as well, because in the short time they knew each other, he had become a tether of sorts. Something to keep her grounded while she ran around, ruining lives and attempting to capture something that was to great, especially for herself.

And so she left, shooting up the stars and leaving two mementos in her place.

"When you're up for, I'll leave you something to find me." her Vespa, its front still stained with blood from the multiple times it had him in the head.

But he didn't touch it.

She was right, he was just a kid, and maybe he didn't realize it then, but he did as the days passed onto months. He realized it when Ninamori confessed and he said no, not because he didn't want to but because he couldn't. It wouldn't be fair, he explained to her as she sniffed and choked back sobs, to be with you without caring.

And then a year went by, still nothing.

So, what exactly was it that he was saving for? Why was he trying so hard to understand what it meant to not be a kid? He didn't, and it was fine that he had no idea, because to him his unreasonable love for the alien was more than enough to keep him struggling. It was reason to eat healthy and grow, it was reason to consider letting his hair get just a little shaggier. It was all worth it because before he knew it, he was fifteen, nearly an adult in his mind and getting closer to an answer each day.

There were backlashes.

He was responsible for the destruction of an entire city, and Amarao was disappointed with his choice. A man who had gone through the same thing, only worse for he had been thrown away early, without love, without affection, used and tossed away. He had offered a hand of brother-ship and it had been rejected by a boy who was to wrapped up in his own matters to care.

It was on his fourteenth birthday, when he blew out the candles and was completely alone in the house that the boy realized what the red headed agent had been warning him of. She will use you until there is nothing left, and then when you're no longer useful that was the end. Still, that wasn't the answer he was looking for, and so he blew out the candles and continued searching.

His N.O., was still open.

Sometimes when no one was around, he practiced with it, hitting himself upside the head, wondering if maybe she would pop out. But only garbage came out, satellites and occasionally rage gems that floated through the galaxy, no more valuable out there then dust. His headaches escalated to the point where he was forced to purchase strong medication, but he didn't stop practicing.

Atomsk's symbol hadn't left either.

At first he wondered if it was just burned into his forehead from merging with him. But, sometimes when it thought no one was looking, it would glow a faint orange, reminding him, warning him. A closer examination, a favor from Amarao, had revealed that Atomsk had left a small fraction of his power deep inside his head, a thank you of sorts for setting him free.

This parting gift was enough raw power to suck away the milky way galaxy.

Still, it wasn't the answer he wanted.

At night he laid awake, staring up at the sky and wondering if, when she was on the verge of falling asleep, if she thought about him. If she remembered holding him tightly, if she recalled the words of adoration laced with lust that would make his heart soar and pulse skyrocket. He wondered if she knew the effect she truly had on him, and if she thought it was a joke of some sorts.

But most of all he wondered if she loved him

She had never responded to him when he blurted out his feelings, granted a large bird was emerging from his skull, but still it was enough. It was enough to show him that she had to think about it, to process it and not respond with whatever it was that went on inside her fractured mind as she usually did. That in itself proved to him that on some level she had learned to care for him. That was enough.

And now he was tired, exhausted, from even thinking about her. His hair had gotten almost too unkempt, large blue eyes hidden and fading. He slept in the in the bucket hat religiously, a joke to remind himself that she existed, and was out there somewhere. Sleep never came to him anymore though, and even as he lay there, watching the sky begin to light up, he found himself relaxed and wired, ready to move.

"Do you dream of me often?" it snaps him to attention and in a flurry of bedsheets and screeches he is on his feet and ready.

She sits there, picturesque and exactly as he remembered her. Large yellow gloves, a strange almost once piece red leather jacket and that scarf that hides her mouth. Her feline eyes dance in the rooms emptiness, an alluring glow that follows every movement of his body. He isn't sure what to say, isn't even sure if she's there or simply a hallucination that has resulted from sleep loss.

"Is that anyway to greet me Ta-kun?" she pouts and it's enough for him, because no matter how hard he's tried to imagine it, his memory never does her expressions justice.

Then he's lunging at her, throwing himself into his chest and sobbing just like when she left. Revealing himself to be almost the same as he was back then, still the same love lorn boy with a hole that she left.

"Y-You left and I thought you were never coming back!" he's wailing now, so loud that the neighbors might even hear. But she says nothing, a calm smile that she wore only one other time on her face.

She too has changed.

Traveling the stars was above all else lonely, especially when you work for the police. No matter where you go in the universe people view police as something to be feared not trusted. And she is the same way, working for them only so she doesn't get arrested by one. And with their promise to help her aid in search of Atomsk it was a win whichever way she looked at it.

And then she had come to earth, a second time, and met a cynical boy with dark blue eyes and a disposition that was only found in those with limitless imaginations. He held her down with his attitude and his family, his way of living, his complexities that were so simple. This was a being who was an open book to her, not because he was easy, but because he wanted to be. Every secret and problem he had he wanted help with, wanted someone to help him fix.

It was revolting.

But a separate part of her began to nurture it, and it was then that she came to the conclusion that he wouldn't be like this forever, he was still a child, still growing, still learning, still falling. And so she left, left him on his uninteresting planet so that he may grow, so that he could learn in a familiar place.

So that when she came back he would be someone worth having.

He was a prize in her eyes, a being with more power than even the Space Pirate King. A boy who had harnessed and perfected Atomsks power within a second just to prove a point to her. He wasn't just a nameless face in the universe, not anymore, he was _somebody._ And for that reason she grew attached, she hated him less than anyone else and that was all there was for her.

"I love you," what an unfair advantage he had taken, not only had he stolen a part of Atomsks power for himself before releasing him, he had also one upped her in the end. All the sleepless nights of talking and flattery, all it amounted to nothing compared to his apocalyptic confession.

There wasn't time to respond, wasn't time to answer his feelings, wasn't even time to care, all that she knew how to do was follow him to the next hideaway he picked. Yet, when he looked at her, with those eyes that held only resolution and longing, she hesitated just a bit longer on the planet at the edge of nothing. And for just a second she allowed her mind to consider what it was he could offer her.

But it wasn't enough, not yet.

The vespa and guitar were a present, a promise that she would come back, someday and in some way. She shot off, not bothering to look back, knowing that he was already hers, the deepest part of his soul stained with her name and expression. She had even left his N.O. Open, aware that their minds would be connected on a certain degree.

And when they though of each other, the strings on their guitars would hum a soft tune.

_Bum, Bum, Bum._

He wasn't what she'd been expecting, truthfully she didn't know what she had been picturing. He was the same, and he was different, taller and thinner, harrier but cleaner. The boy had grown into something that pricked at the embers of madness that slept within the labyrinth of her ancient mind.

He was now ideal.

She let him cry, let hip sob and throw the tantrum he had been holding back for three years. It didn't bother her, she had seen mightier beings throw fits for lesser things. She held him, wearing a smile that she knew would make him feel at ease, as if he were the only one who got to see it, and maybe he was.

She loved him in the only way she could, and that was by possessing him.

It wasn't about simply having his heart or even his body, it was about having him. It was about making all that was his her own, about having their minds connected to the point where his thoughts would pour into hers. Her love required that he have no secrets from her and that she would always have answers.

And to do that, she would have to tangle herself into him, an infectious weed that would consume him.

"W-Why are you back?"she looked at him, stirring from her own thoughts and putting on a good natured grin. Her hand twirled locks of his hair but he seemed to focused to mind or notice.

"Told you I'd be back, didn't I?" it wasn't a lie, she had always intended to come back, whether to see him or get him had only been a matter of how long her mind took to sort out what it wanted from him.

And it wanted him.

"Y-Yeah but why now?" it was a good question and there were a lot of different answers, not one of them the entire truth.

"I'm off duty, Atomsk is behind bars and I got nothin' to do until another big baddie comes along and wants to screw around the stars." that was true, he had been arrested, fairly easily and quickly.

Almost as soon as she had left earth she had caught up with him, a giant bird flying through space takes some time to reach light speed as it turned out. However, he was so drained of power that he couldn't fight, the boy had used nearly all of his energy forming and merging two guitars while also fighting her, deep space flight was all he could manage.

It took two calls and one blow from the twin neck guitar to put him away.

Then another three years of pointless missions to decide when to go back.

"Y-You got him? Did you seal him in your bracelets? Or maybe you're own N.O.?" his naivety and curiosity were endearing however very far from the truth.

"Nah, just sent him away to jail, figured, hey, what am I gonna do with all that juice? Fight myself? Nah, so I thought I might as well come back, check up on you." he was embarassed now, and was quickly wiping away tears and snot before shedding his sweatshirt.

His body, too were knew.

The girl forced herself to look and not touch, not yet, she didn't want to whet her appetite. He was lean, built from running and thinking. His body was sinewy and showed off any muscle or vein that could pulse beneath his tanned skin. She moved on instinct, closing in and wrapping her arms around him, teeth quickly finding purchase in his well known to her weak spot.

He didn't protest, not that time, he had learned from himself.

She wondered if he'd let her keep going.

"A-Are you tired?" she sighed and pulled back, perhaps not tonight but soon, she could only satiate herself with banter and play for so long.

"Yeah, guess I better curl up huh? She smirked and began undressing, an eyebrow raising in pleasant surprise when he not only didn't look away but began removing the rest of his own clothing.

"The top bunks filthy, you can share mine though," he had been practicing, reciting the lines in his head for all these years, eager to show that he had grown and would not pass up another chance.

"Wow Ta-kun, how manly." she purred against him and took up his offer, curling up with him on the bed, it was like how it had been and how it would be.

"I love you, Haruko." her eyes snapped open and she didn't look at him, frustrated that he had once again taken the upper hand.

She would say it now, give him something to hold onto as she pulled him in.

"I love you too Naota."


End file.
